Solo Pleasure With Eleanor Hadley

Pleasure is my middle name. I've never been able to hold back on things that make me feel really damn good. A true Taurus through and through, a hedonist, a sensualist, if you will. I believe that our bodies are designed to feel pleasure, and that living a life full of savouring the sensory delights is part of why we're all here. I mean, why would we have these bodies if not to experience the deeply satisfying bliss and states of ecstasy that they're capable of? 

I spent years going down these spiritual rabbit holes, studying yoga and seeking that transcendence that everyone talks about. Meditate long enough and you'll be enlightened - promise. Free yourself of attachment and you'll reach that place up above, beyond this earthy plane. And.. I really bought into it for a while, cursing my materialism, my so-called attachment to this paltry physical realm. But then, I've always been so in tune with my sensual world, tapped into my senses. Well, deeply affected by them, maybe it’s some type of sensory overload..but I choose to see it as the gift of sensitivity. Attuned to my senses, knowing how they affect me. Anyway, I didn't want to give that up to just..meditate my life away for some real or imagined blissful state beyond our earthly realm. Not when I know I can get there through my body, through my sensitivity, with pleasure as my vehicle.

Hey, I'm Eleanor. A Taurus Sun (Venus too), Cancer Moon and Aries Rising - for my astrology girlies. I'm a certified sex educator, which probably makes sense, given what I've shared with you about myself so far. I've always had a fascination with sex, but for years I didn't let myself really explore it. All that internalised slut shaming really got me. And, as the story tends to go, I didn't really come into my full sexual expression until my mid-twenties, after a big break up that left me questioning everything—you know, who I was, what I liked, what I wanted from life, from sex, too. And now, I feel pretty damn confident in what I do want, what I do like, and the prospect of continuing to explore my sexual edges and expand my pleasure potential is so exciting to me. 

I remember first discovering my clit when I was younger, grinding up on anything I could to feel that sweet flood of pleasure racing from my centre throughout my body, leaving me breathless and content. I think the way we learnt or taught ourselves to masturbate early on sort of treads a pathway, our body learns that's the quickest, the easiest, the most pleasurable way to get off - and it becomes our go-to from there on out. And while I try to switch things up to ensure I can feel the full spectrum of pleasure, I always go back to grinding. If I'm with a lover, or satisfying myself, grinding is what takes me to god. 

For this session, I want to give you some insight in to my go-to self pleasure ritual. And I want to invite you along for the ride - or grind, if you will. Some of you might do something similar already, and some of you might not have ever self-pleasured like this. There’s a few things I want to invite you to gather before we start, feel free to pause me here and meet me when you’re ready to get started. I want you to make sure your space is comfy, lush, decadent. Slip in to something touchable, or perhaps just slip out of everything altogether. Put some sensual music on in the background. Leave some luscious body oil out, bonus points if it smells decadent. Choose your favourite vibe or dildo - one internal and one external, if you have them, and lay them out, ready to go, along with some lube - water-based if your toys are silicone. I’m also going to get you to have a soft t-shirt nearby…you’ll see why later. 

Nothing gets me into my body more than movement, so I’ll sit myself in front of a mirror and begin to let the music move me. And here, I invite you to follow along with me. 

Breathing in deeply, and sighing on the out breath, letting the muscles in your face, your neck, shoulders, your belly and your pussy relax, soften. Start gently rolling your head side to side, stretching the left ear to the left side, rolling forward, bringing the chin towards the chest, then bringing the right ear to the right shoulder. Breathing in one direction…and out in the other. Turning these into big, full circles all the way around, softening more and more each time, dropping into your body, out of your mind. Moving down the body now, begin to circle your chest, your hips. Slowly, smoothly. Let these circles be big, let yourself take up space. Breathing, and sighing out, letting yourself feel the pleasure of the breath and the juicy, nourishing movement. 

Invite your fingers to linger along your body, tracing shapes and patterns along your skin. Explore different types of pressure, let your hands move intuitively all over your body. Feeling up along the legs, over your booty, gliding along your tummy, gently cupping your breasts, feeling up along your neck, maybe running the fingers through your hair, melting back down.

Now, I want you to seduce yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, like you’re the hottest person you’ve ever seen. Make eyes with yourself, watch your hands feeling yourself up, your body moving and just let yourself go. Let yourself follow your mood, maybe you’re looking at yourself with love, with softness, maybe you’re getting horny for yourself, turning your reflection on, maybe you unleash the wild in you, dancing and flipping your hair. What I love about this is that nobody is watching, it’s just you. This is for you, only you. You don’t need to perform, to be perfect, so let it be messy, let yourself melt. Roll around, arch your back, do some sexy cat/cows, body rolls - let your body move as if you’re dancing through warm honey, dripping and melting. And..feel free to pause me here while you seduce yourself, we’re not in any rush.. I want you to savour in your own self-seduction.

Let’s work inwards now. Reaching for your body oil, pouring a little into your hands, rubbing them together to warm it up, moving your hands to your chest, cupping your breasts. And just take a moment of stillness to just breathe, tune into the warmth of your hands on your breasts and begin massaging. Making slow circles one way, then the other. Trace the outline of your breasts. Let the hands explore, gently guiding the fingers along your nipples, noticing if they’re soft, hard, sensitive. Perhaps gently squeezing them between your fingers. 

Getting comfy now, laying yourself back, propped up on some pillows and continuing your self exploration now, worshipping every inch of your body, massaging the oil into your body. Allow your hands to linger down south…but not all the way yet. Slide your feet along the bed, towards your body and spread your legs. Firmly massaging down along your thighs, sweeping your hand in, and back up…almost but not quite grazing your pussy. Circling your hips as you bring your awareness to your thighs, your centre, the part of you that’s probably begging to be touched right now. Deepening your touch now, massaging the very edges of your vulva, feeling the anticipation build. 

Keep the hips grinding, bring your hands back up along your body now, feeling yourself up, squeezing your boobs, maybe tweaking the nipples a bit, feeling up along the neck, arching your back, keep the hips rolling….

Bring one hand back down to your pussy now and place the palm of your hand over the whole vulva, cupping yourself, taking a moment to bring your awareness there. And now, ever so lightly using your fingertips to graze the outer lips in long soft strokes up, down. And massaging the outer lips now, one hand on each side, pushing together as you keep grinding. Spreading yourself apart now, doing your touch to your inner lips, noticing the difference in how you feel. Grab some lube now…because lube makes everything better. Drip some lube right onto your clit now, and be generous. Using two fingers trace a wishbone kind of pattern down from either side of the clit, along the edges of the inner lips, down, back up. And then let your fingers circle the clit, slowly now, breathing the pleasure up through your body. 

When..and if, you feel ready..slide your fingers down further, right at the opening to your pussy. Circling around, teasing the entry before sliding your fingers inside. I like to use my middle and ring fingers..controversial, I know. But I like reaching my g-spot while my two outside fingers, the pointer and pinky act sort of like a frame, massaging the outer labia as I grind my clit into the heel of my palm. The other hand free to squeeze my nipple as I rock and roll my body, writhing in the pleasure I’m giving myself.

But, let’s ride this wave a little longer, shall we? Reaching for your favourite dildo - I have plenty to choose from, but for this style of self-pleasure, I like to go for a nice realistic style - I want to feel stretched and full so I’ll go with maybe a girthy 7 incher. Lather it with lube, and tease yourself, sliding the tip over your vulva. UP, and down, over the clit, down to your entrance, teasing until you feel ready to slide it in, ever so slowly, savouring every inch until it’s nice and deep. From here, holding it in place, circling those hips as you grind your clit against the heel of your palm once more. Building the sensation, feeling your internal muscles tightening around it. 

At this point, I’m vying for a blended orgasm, and I need more. And you’re coming with me..

Turn yourself over now, holding the dildo in deep. Grab your t-shirt nearby and roll it up. This is what you’re going to grind on now, rolling your hips and rubbing up against the t-shirt, bunched under your pussy. Maybe the other hands feels up your body, cupping a breast, squeezing a nipple - hard - maybe bringing a hand over your ass, using your wetness to tease your back entrance.

Letting the pleasure course through you, breathing it up, circulating the energy throughout your body until you’re ready to release, letting your orgasm flood your body…

Removing the dildo, if you’re using one.. placing a hand back over the whole vulva, gently cupping yourself, maybe bringing the other hand to the chest. Letting your body soften and melt… pleasure is your middle name.

Photos by James Looker