New Hero: Lily O'Farrell
AURORE sat down with feminist cartoonist Lily O’Farrell (@vulgadrawings) to discuss the delicate craft of making horrible things funny, the rise of faux feminist Kyles, and how women are just as horny as men are.
What first inspired you to create your illustrations?
I've always loved drawing, but my art was always 'bad'. I'd call the drawings I did 'doodles' as a defense mechanism, because the characters I drew were odd and ugly—I nearly failed art at school. So I put that part of my life behind me, and got really into comedy, especially female comedians. I was writing sketch comedy and doing stand up, and I started using my material as dialogue in my 'doodles' that I'd do on the back of receipts at my waitressing job. I uploaded one onto Instagram, and off it went. Now it's become an addiction, and if I'm feeling down or hopeless it's usually because I haven't drawn in a few days. The moment I do, I'm walking on clouds again.
You always have such witty ways of delivering in your sketches. How do you come up with new ideas? Are they all based on personal experiences? What’s your advice on seeing humor in the horrible?
When I started, they were all based on personal experiences. The characters were a mixture of guys I had dated, men I had worked with, and even men who I had just had one or two interactions with. I studied Sociology at university, and I think there is definitely a bit of that in the drawings too. It gave me the skill to analyze group behavior from a distance and to be able to define it. Over time, as I have gained more followers, the ideas have broadened out. People often message me with their ideas, and sometimes it’s stuff I've experienced but it just hadn't occurred to me how sexist it was. At the moment, for example, I'm working on a drawing about the phrase ‘blue balls’. Someone messaged me about it and I was like ‘Omg she's right - it's so gross and pressuring and weird!’
Putting the humor in the horrible is absolutely key to me. Not just because it unites us and helps me (and others) process difficult experiences, more importantly, it's kind of like rolling a poo in some glitter. It's a horrible thing but it's important that people engage with it, and making it funny does exactly that. I'm able to reach a wider audience by packaging it as something positive, when really a lot of the subjects are quite dark. This is a really old trick though, and I owe it all to the female comedians I love. I learned about feminism, sexual politics and how to get people to listen to you by watching stand up comedy.
Describe the “Kyle” character to someone who isn’t in on the joke yet.
Ooh! Kyle has taken a lot of identities on this year, as has Karen. But the Kyle that exists in @vulgadrawings is in his twenties, he rocks a tiny TINY woolen hat that barely covers his greasy locks, and he loves to tell you about the music you should be aware of. He is totally a feminist, but only if he can play devil's advocate in every discussion you have with him. He cheats on you and blames his mental health, and he can quote all the Quentin Tarantino films to you (even though) you didn't ask. In short: Kyle represents the faux feminist guys. Men who only see women as something that can serve them, as opposed to real people independent to them.
How has creating art that tackles topics such as misogyny, toxic masculinity, feminism, sexual freedom, etc. help you navigate these situations in real life (if at all)?
Creating art only helps in that it's cathartic and a good way of channeling my anger and frustrations. Releasing it out into the world, and building a following has helped me more. When other people identify with something I have experienced, it gives me the confidence to speak up in real life. The character of me (that occasionally pops up in my drawings) was always influenced by what I wish I had said but never did. Now I know it's not just me who deals with this stuff, I feel like I'm able to answer back in the moment, especially if I feel like I'm helping people like my followers by calling out bad behavior.
What’s your advice for dealing with trolls in comments/DMs?
I get a lot of trolls, often real life Kyles; men who DM me because they want to 'debate' with me. I have tried all the tactics and there's only one that works: Block, delete, mute. Delete their comments and block their accounts, I believe in free speech but not when someone is targeting one of my followers with racist and sexist language (and the truth is that the people who use the 'free speech' argument are the people who use this kind of language and refuse to wear a mask in a shop.) I still read most of what the trolls say because they give me so much great content and material. So, honestly, I hope they keep DMing me.
What kind of impact do you hope to have on women and their relationships with their bodies and sexuality despite the constant politicizing of women's rights?
I have a huge amount of faith in my generation, so I feel very positive and not at all alone in this. I could write and write and never stop when it comes to subjects like this, so I've made a list to limit myself:
I hope to see more engagement from the medical community, e.g. more research into the menopause, endometriosis and the side effects of hormonal contraception. I feel SO STRONGLY about women prioritizing their sex drive, and if that means the guy you're sleeping with has to wear a condom cos you've come off the pill - then great. Do that.
I want people in power and some older generations to engage more in gender identity, sexuality, sex work and to just generally have more empathy.
I'm grateful for the amazing people who are constantly fighting back against diet culture, and the ridiculous idea that being skinny equates to real health. Body confidence and sexuality come hand in hand for me: when you find yourself sexy, you enjoy sex more. So fighting against fat shaming and diet culture benefits women and their sexuality.
I want everyone to stop lying to themselves and to just admit that women are just as horny (or hornier) than men.
I hope that women feel comfortable to ask for what they want from their sexual partners, and to get the laughs that guys do at bars when they talk about sleeping around.
I want men to see women who are openly sexually expressive and confident about their sexuality as 'girlfriend material', and not a replacement for their right hand until they find a woman that reminds them of their Mum to marry.
What’s the best/worst part of being insta-famous?
I really do love attention—so that's a big plus. I got recognized in the street recently and I loved that. The best part is having a platform that forces me to keep being creative, because there are people who actually want to see what I come up with. Another great bonus is having a community. I feel so supported and strengthened by the community on @vulgadrawings. Watching people stick up for each other in the comments is like my wet dream. The worst part is the snobbery about artists, writers and comedians using social media to showcase their work. What I find so inspiring and impressive about people who use TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram is how those platforms require pure talent. These people didn't know the right person at that gallery or buy their way into an internship; they started from scratch and people responded to it.
What do you wish you knew about life ten years ago?
People are very insecure and self obsessed, when you realize this it's actually really freeing. People don't really care what you do, so do what you want and wear what you want. Don't worry about what people think, because in the nicest way possible—they're not thinking about you. They're thinking about what they're gonna have for dinner or what they're doing on the weekend.
If someone says you're annoying, or you have an attitude problem, or you're too much, keep going and do more of it.
Loving your own company is invaluable
If a guy says he's a freak in the bedroom, it just means he'll do doggy and maybe spank you a bit. Sadly, it does not mean he's open to you pegging him.
If he doesn't go down on you, don't see him again