How To Sluticize Your Life
If romanticizing life is about buying yourself flowers, lighting the taper candles for take out dinners—
if eroticizing life is about slowing the fuck down to feel, to taste, to connect with everything from the fibers of your clothing to the nose on your cold brew—
if sexualizing life is about shamelessly, unapologetically making things about sex, whether it’s a secret between you and yourself or the texts you send, the symbols you choose to see, the life force from everyone you want to sink your teeth into—
then sluticizing life is all of these AND THEN multiplying them by 100, deepthroating the metaphorical cock of life, sloppily, greedily, choking on it and not stopping because you want to swallow it all.
How To Sluticize Your Life
Be Greedy
Put more on your plate than you need. Go back for seconds. Make not save room for dessert.
Indulging in heaping portions does not equal speedy consumption. Taste your food. Share bites and plates and whole meals. Enjoy food with every one of your senses. Slowly.
Same concept different vehicle—put on more lotion, potion, scent than you “need.” Burn the expensive candle. Use the good dishes. Get cum on the nice lingerie. Scarcity is not slutty.
Be Loud. Make noise.
Something I noticed at the gym: all the men lifting weights are making the most insane guttural caveman noises. And all the women doing the same are…silent.
Be noisy—in bed, where moaning is shown to increase pleasure, but also everywhere else, especially when lifting a heavy object. I think this will be alarming to the wrong men and the right ones will hear you.
It’s also worth noting that the number one tip in self defense is to use your voice. That’s something that takes practice to override what might be your more natural flight/freeze response. So start practicing, now.
We Raw Dog Sex*, Not Life
Once I forgot my headphones and ran back to my place of work to grab them. My coworker was waiting for my return with them in her hand and she looked at me so dead serious and said “You can’t raw dog New York City.” Truer words have never been spoken.
Always have a soundtrack! Find yourself a walk song (I’m loving this one currently) and a song for when you feel sad to really make it dramatic, and a song for when you want to feel like sex, and a song for when you need to CALM. I like to play Ave Maria when I am forced to walk through Times Square. It slows time and imbues a certain strength and meaning to the chaos.
*we raw dog sex after conversations about consent, safety, and protection
NEVER and I Mean NEVER Let the Fear of Others’ Judgment Hinder Your Pursuit of Pleasure
That’s all.
NEVER and I Mean NEVER Feel Guilt or Shame Over Something You Did When You Were Horny
(Unless it was knowingly hurtful to someone else and then please think about what you’ve done and apologize, but if you’re a masochist and you texted someone you know is bad for you, enjoy that tender pain, baby.)
(on that note!) Text People When You’re Thinking of Them
Friends. Family members. Former lovers. Is there anything better than receiving a random love note? A confession that you’re on someone’s mind? A long overdue apology?
Overcome your ego or fear of vulnerability or whatever it is that’s keeping you from sending the text. I have admittedly always been a just send the text kinda girl. Including a 1,000 word Facebook message to a man who eventually (two years later) responded in kind and then two months after that, DIED. That kinda puts things in perspective, yeah? I’m glad I told him exactly how I felt. I have no regrets.
This is one of the catalysts to me starting Aurore—when I felt my heart hardening after so many romantic disappointments, too many dead-ends, I realized the answer was not to withdraw and pretend I didn’t care if I did, but rather seek connection and vulnerability in even my most casual connections.
Somewhat inherent in sluttiness is a noncommittal, take it then leave it attitude. I reject that form of sluttiness, and suggest you take copiously but intentionally. With care and presence and ongoing communication to your lovers about your feelings and where you’re at.
No one can hurt you if you don’t let them! And yet, and yet. The magnitude of joy you’re capable of experiencing is intrinsically linked to the depths of pain that are possible, maybe even inevitable.
Wear Beautiful Lingerie For Yourself
Under otherwise regular clothes, and for no particular reason like…going to the grocery store.
Your version of beautiful lingerie may be a complicated harness, a garter belt, or something lacy. It may be something gender affirming, or something equally comfy and sexy.
For me, sometimes, the sexiest thing I can do is not wear a bra or undies. Letting my tits free and feeling the breeze on my vag feels INCREDIBLY freeing. And freedom to me is the sluttiest feeling of all.
If I want freedom with a little support, I put on this bralette, with the matching ouvert undies.
The Ewa Michalak bra I’m wearing with the watermelon can be found in-person at The Rack Shack. Use code AURORE15 for 15% off online and in-person purchases.
Fuck Your Skincare Routine
If that’s what is pulling you home at night, you’re simply not having enough fun. So order another drink, talk to a stranger, and stay out and live a little.
Morning after make-up is hot—it’s lived-in, imbued with wisdom, intrigue, and a god-given smoky eye that cannot be replicated.
xxx
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