Limits

We met on one of those apps for people in search of similar kinks. It’s not so easy finding partners that like being tied up. Being used. Finding egos that can handle letting go. 

We’d had two dates prior to this where we vetted each other and in all honesty, I wouldn't mind being more than just sexual partners with her. She had a particular charm that was easily in tune with her soft brown eyes. She owned her own business, ran all the day to day operations. It was obvious the charisma she carried was well fortified with years of practice in her trade. There was a business person’s ruthlessness hidden just below those well timed smiles.

Tonight wasn't about how gorgeous she was though. Tonight would be about performance. I wanted to see this woman down on her knees begging to be treated like a dirty little whore.

But past that—I really wanted to see her face when she felt the confidence to finally take control. The moment she realized being submissive is actually about power—having it all. 

I couldn't wait to experience liberation with her. I was on edge about it because in my recent unsuccessful three year relationship my partner was very vanilla. Apart from the aesthetic of chains, latex, rope, she didn't much care for the type of play I’m into. And that was fine. My sexual appetite is quite flexible. But I missed this part of myself. The part that let go of being a gentleman. My sadistic side that lay dormant. That animal could sense the liberation I was anticipating. That animal was tired of my smiling and handshaking, the persona I took on when selling wine to restaurant owners and chefs. The irritable fake laughs and small talk banter. 

I took my shot of Fernet with the bartender the same moment I saw her coming back from the powder room. Every step she took demanded the room to listen. The way her dress wrapped around her hips. Her waist. I was convinced she purposely set up every moment. She knew exactly what she was doing.

~~

I blurt out some variation of the previous paragraph as my cock—throbbing and pulsating—curves down the back of the goddess’ throat. My balls are aching. I can feel it in my stomach. 

Like a good boy, I’ve earned my reward.

Five days of edging myself out to this woman. Random photographs of her body, voicemails of her moaning smut, begging for me and I had not broken. Like any other accomplishment, I take pride in that fact. My reward is control. Something she constantly wields—but not this time. Now she would be what I wanted her to be. She would do the things I asked her to do. She wouldn't have to think, or make any decisions, just feel. It's what she wanted. A vacation from worrying about every detail. Empty headed obedience was her bliss.

A loud gag breaks my internal rambling. 

I hold her arms above her head making sure they stay straight and connected at the wrist. Her back and head pressed against a wall so she has no choice in pulling back. My hard cock flops out, pushed out by her throat, followed by very thick spit. We’re only just beginning and she is already making quite a mess. She laughs with enthusiasm as my dick rests against her wet, shiny face. Drool dripping down her exposed breast. Tears already ruined most of her mascara and eyeliner. A fake eyelash stuck midway down her face.

"Am I doing a good job, sir?" Words spoken in between the sucking up of deep breaths.

Truth was she was doing an amazing job. And she looked better now than she did in any of those overly done photo shoots—but no way was I about to tell her that. Praise and gratitude would be saved for aftercare.

I let her take a deep breath. Then slide my dick back in. I push it deeper this time. Then count down from 10. At the count of five she swallows and pulls my cock in deeper. I can't hide my smile just then—at three I could feel her wanting to push me out. She closed her eyes and powered through it.

I’m thoroughly impressed and pay extra attention to the way her nails press into my hands holding her wrists together. Just in case she needs a time out. We both know the sign for a break. 

I get to zero. Pull out. 

"Is my face a good fuck?”

“Am I doing a good job?"

Instead of acknowledging her, I don't react at all. I slowly kneel down to her eye level. Emotionless. Scoop up a particularly thick drip of saliva off her chin. Pull my hand back and slap her across the face. Right as her face swings back to look at me. I spit on her. 

Still with no emotion.

No anger.

No excitement.

Internally I’m watching to make sure of her reaction. Even though terms and safe words have been discussed and agreed on, there is still a responsibility to constantly make sure everyone is having fun. The kink for me is of course pushing her to her edge, but moreso, it’s being the complete opposite of who I am. Here I can be the asshole that gets what I want. I can be an aggressive misogynist. And for her. She can choose to be disrespected. 

I know just by her tone she needed acknowledgment. My lack of responding to her questions give me the power. 

Feeling my cock bend at the base as her throat pushes me out once again takes me out of my own brain. 

The whole of me is now laying across her face. Those brown eyes are piercing, pleading with mine. I can feel her hot breath brushing against my wet balls, just out of reach of her lips. 

"You're getting better. You took almost all of it that time," I finally break my silence.

"Thank you, sir." She responds through glossed over eyes. 

Stepping away, I can hear her body breathing. I brush some of her hair off her forehead. I can tell she's expecting another slap so I don't do it. Instead I let her body wince at the thought. In a quick little frame of time I see her smile. 

"I don't think you’re ready to get fucked yet. You told me you would take it all. I still have faith in you ma'am. The only thing worse than a lie is disappointment." I'm not looking at her at all when I tell her this. Instead I'm getting the stand that holds up the vibrator. I take my time making sure it lines up right on her clit. 

"You're not a liar, are you?" 

"No, sir." 

"And I can’t imagine the way you walk around with all that stuck up confidence that you would be any kind of disappointment?" 

"Never, sir." 

Her voice shakes as the sound of the vibrator gets louder. The buzzing turns into a muffled hum when the top of the wand pushes against my little overachiever. 

She's still squatting down in her stilettos with her back and head against the wall. The small of her back is arched forward; her hands are in fists and she's holding back a moan from escaping.

There's an oddly satisfying silence as my patio door closes behind me. I sit down and light the last half of my joint. 

The low buzz of the power lines above me.

The crickets. 

Traffic off in the distance. 

In the ambient sounds of the night my anticipation and appetite grows.

Then faintly from inside the apartment I hear her orgasm pushing out despite her best efforts. 

I take another drag of my joint and start to strategize what I'm going to do. In the same frame of thought, I imagine what she looks like in there. My cock starts to throb and harden again.

Are her eyes rolled back? 

Are her hips thrusting, humping away at the toy without thought? 

Did she squirt out a puddle all over the floor? 

I want to go in there and stand her up. Spin her around so that her palms and face are against the wall. I’m glad she broke one of the rules. She didn’t ask permission nor did I say she could cum. 

After five days of imagining what being inside her will feel like, my hips start slowly moving without me realizing it. I want to feel her whole body squeezing my cock. Neither one of us able to hold back anymore. When I walk in there though, I will continue the fantasy. I am going to make her beg and plead. As much as I want her I have to be patient. After five days of her pushing me to my edge, to my limit. 

I take a deep breath to calm myself. I’m going to walk in there and find freedom with her. I won't stop until I feel her going over the edge, legs shaking. Until the moment she goes numb with bliss. I’m going to bring out the slut that lives inside her. We’ll find her limit and push past it. We will achieve the warm, satisfying feeling of deliverance.  

A devilish smile imprints itself over my face. 

With my pep talk and focus in mind I toss the roach out into the ambient abyss. It's time to really start the night.