Heaven

I heard ocean waves crashing into the sand outside my Santa Monica hotel. Every time the waves hit the beach, I could feel a faint mist slip through the window. “Jun,” a man whispered in my right ear, snapping me out of my daze. I looked over my shoulder towards the voice, and there were two men, Lee and Luke, smirking at me. Luke lay smiling on a pillow, the moonlight softly contouring his muscles, while Lee sat on my right side, his left hand slowly cupping my face in his palm as he pulled me in for a kiss, pausing for a moment to finish his sentence. “Want to go for another round?” By then, I’d stopped counting how many times the duo had pinned me down on the mattress, faint bite marks scattered across my torso, reminders of our little group activity. I simply nodded, and then I found myself laying on Luke’s chest as Lee’s knees held my legs apart, and he slipped two fingers inside of me. Luke’s lips met mine, and I felt my eyes close, my body experiencing heaven once more. I would have lived in that moment if I could pause time. After years of fantasizing about a threesome, I was finally having one. 

But we’ll get back to that in a moment. The larger question is how a thirty-year-old New Yorker ends up in bed with two men, forty and twenty-five-years-old respectively, in a Santa Monica hotel nearly 3000 miles away from home. The reasoning was simple. I was tired. Exhausted. At my wit’s end. I needed to be as far away from home as possible, and what better place than LA? Compared to NYC, where garbage juice flows like a river in the streets, rats the size of raccoons run across the avenues, and the city sounds cut through even the best noise-canceling headphones; LA conjures an immaculate, pest-free, and quiet haven. Don’t get me wrong, I love New York, but even the most die-hard New Yorkers need a break.

Approximately a month ago, I packed a single tote bag with a few panties, one extra t-shirt, skincare, and makeup and left for LA, determined to let my mind heal after ten years of chaos. My plan was to go to LA, get a hotel by the beach, and learn to be peaceful again. The one other thing I packed…volume one of my favorite new josei manga. 

Josei manga, directly translated from Japanese as “woman manga,” is a sub-genre of Japanese love comics that target women in their twenties and thirties. But unlike most manga that feature fluffy love stories, josei manga is filled with steamy sex scenes between (often-overlooked) protagonists and unbelievably handsome men. Sometimes, these men are the heroine’s childhood friends who moved back from abroad, revealing they’ve always had feelings for the main character. And after a long-overdue reunion, they have very graphic sex in virtually every position drawable in her apartment. Other times, our heroine is pursued by two or more love interests simultaneously, all of which are trying to win her heart. These stories often culminate with her unable to pick whom to date, and because the men realize she loves each of them differently, they decide to have a threesome so she doesn’t have to choose. How selfless of them! How romantic.

Call it cringe, I don’t care. Every New Yorker needs a vice to keep themselves sane in the city. For some, it’s binge drinking. For others, it’s smoking weed while sitting on their stoop. For me, it’s beautiful ikemen (Japanese for handsome men), ravishing lonely office ladies, or some other cheesy female archetype in josei manga. In Josei manga, the woman’s needs and desires are put first, and the heroines usually get the princess treatment from start to finish, something real-life hookups don’t always guarantee. I needed the princess treatment. So I gave it to myself on an escape to LA.

In a whiskey bar by my hotel a week into my trip, I sat in a quiet corner seat where I could read manga on my phone. My whiskey pooled over transparent ice spheres, the place was supremely devoid of crowds and noise. “Finally,” I sighed, my throat burning from the whiskey. I went deep into my reading, and eventually my table was covered in not one, not two, but four empty crystal glasses, the rims marked with increasingly faint lipstick stains. I didn’t even bother to touch up; I wasn’t the type to meet a hookup at a bar. 

“You should try an Old Fashioned,” a playful voice stated, rudely taking me out of a steamy scene where the protagonist in Shinjuku was getting double penetrated by her childhood friend and the local coffee shop barista after a dramatic scene where they both professed their love to her. I was planning to ignore him, I wasn’t in the mood for small talk, but I glanced up and was floored. An Asian man stood before me in a simple fitted black tee that gripped his pecs like wet latex. His fitted pants looked like a crossover between cargo utility pants and skinny jeans—stylish. And his face…fuck; he was clean shaven, wearing a smirk, with cheekbones as high as heaven. What can I say, I have a type. He looked like he was in his mid-thirties, but no man my age has that kind of confidence level. 

“I feel any girl who drinks that much whiskey can appreciate an Old Fashioned,” he teased, tapping each glass as he spoke. “I hope I’m not being presumptuous.” He introduced himself as Lee, and he moved quick—not even fifteen minutes into the conversation, I knew something would happen that night. 

“So what are you reading anyways,” he poked towards my phone. “You looked like you were in heaven, haha.” I hesitated but decided to be honest, and told him it was josei manga. “Oh yeah, like hentai for women,” he commented. It turns out he had friends who were into actual hentai stories, too, not the hentai you find online, but romance manga with NSFW content. “Does it hit all your fantasies?” Lee laughed. I smiled as I tapped my phone. “Well…I’ve always wanted to have a threesome with two guys, but finding the right guys is just too much work,” I told him. “Most guys I ask seem more interested in reenacting something they saw in a porn video versus helping me act out my fantasy. I know it’s a little selfish, but I really want my dream threesome, so until then, manga will have to do.” 

Lee looked at me intensely, studying my face, observing me in my awkward confession. “Well…how about I help you make that happen,” he said, leaning in towards me. “We don’t need to make it complicated.” Lee told me to set up a dating profile that specified what I was looking for. “If you find someone you like, I’m down.” He said. “And it doesn’t matter if I like them or not,” he said, smiling. “Call me a people pleaser, but I like making girls happy.” 

Lee told me to send him a text detailing my fantasy, and he’d memorize it. I would later learn that he’s what the kink community calls a service dom. I couldn’t believe my luck.

The next day, posts were made, and conversations were had. 

ME: “I might have found someone, his name is Luke, and he’s so hottttt fdkvjhebvfiuferf”

LEE: “Glad to hear it; tell me more.”

ME: “Mid-twenties, ripped, seems sweet – are you free tonight? I will vet him over dinner, but if it all works out, can you come after work?”

LEE: “Deal. Leave your door unlocked, and good luck ;)”

It turns out my instincts were right. Luke showed up at the hotel restaurant in a white hoodie and slacks and had the cutest grin slapped across his face. He looked no older than 25 and had a lighthearted enthusiasm you only see in people who hadn’t been ground into a pulp by life’s stresses yet. If Lee was the daddy-type who seduced me over cocktails, Luke and I’s dynamic felt more balanced, even a little playful. He worked nearby and had recently joined the apps because he wanted to explore his sexuality more, including having a threesome. When Luke excused himself for the restroom, my hands flew for my phone. 

ME: “Green light, come over.”

LEE: “He’s cool?”

ME: “He’s perfect, and he’s down with the whole “meet my fantasy” thing; I showed him the text I sent you  🙈  He said he might need a little guidance from you since he’s never done this before either #3somenewbiesclub”

LEE: “ Hahaha, sure. See you in a bit.”

“You look happy,” Luke said, returning to the table. “Everything good?” “Oh yeah, very good,” I laughed. “Just texting our third. Let’s go to my room; he’ll be here in twenty.” 

The stroll through the restaurant exit, up the elevator, and down the hallway to my room felt like the longest five minutes of my life—I wanted to grab the hem of Luke’s hoodie, tear it off him, throw it out the window, and ask him to pound me. But I had to be patient; Lee was on his way. 

“Do I….take off my shoes…?” I looked behind, and Luke seemed a little anxious, fidgeting in the doorway. He was adorable. Who the fuck cares about the shoes, I thought, as I pulled him towards the bed. Gravity, the perfect wing-woman, ensured Luke fell on top of me, his crotch roughly pressing against mine. “Oh fuck, I’m sorry-” I pulled him down into a kiss with one hand, the other pulling his hand towards my face. “Why are you apologizing, babes? You’re here to fuck me, so fuck me,” before slipping his index finger into my mouth and running the tip of my tongue from the end of his fingers to the bottom of his palm, making sure my eyes were locked with his, his face flushed pink and lips slightly agape. 

“Someone’s having fun,” another voice cut through our play. Lee waved towards me as if we were at a park, and he had seen me from across the parking lot. “Has she ruined you yet, Luke?” Lee, letting out a moan laugh as my other hand began undoing his pants, and my mouth, bored of fingers, decided to have his nipples for dessert. “He’s the best, Leeeeeee,” I laughed. “Now come over here and fuck me, I’m horny!” 

“Is she always this demanding,” Luke joked, his demeanor slightly changing. In Chinese, there’s a saying that some men are like golden retrievers: wide-eyed, sweet, and a little shy, and some men are like wolves or huskies, aggressive, hypermasculine, and rough. Luke’s sunshine-colored demeanor was gone. I’d been with younger men before, but I’d never been with one who was now in the same room as an older man – maybe there was a sense of competition? Or a desire to “live up” to some standard of performance? Whatever, I don’t need to understand men to love them. 

“It’s my first time with her, too, so I guess we’ll both find out,” Lee stood against the edge of the bed, his left hand firmly grasping my cheeks. “Isn’t that right, Jun?” Part of my fantasy was having a younger guy warm me up, get my domme streak out, and then be put in my place by an older guy. 

Lee put his arm around Luke’s shoulder and grinned. “Don’t worry, just follow my lead,” his eyes now locked with mine, his hands twisting my nipples. “She just wants to be the center of attention, huh,” Luke said from between my thighs, his tongue flicking against my clit – one man had his hand around my throat, and the other was pulling my lower half into the mattress.

Lee held my mouth open with both thumbs firmly lodged inside my cheeks, and told me to time my breathing as his cock slid down my throat—simultaneously, Luke’s tongue flicked in and out of my pussy, just enough so his fingers could start loosening me up. “Relax, Jun…you’re being such a good girl,” Lee cooed, stretching my mouth even wider. “Who do you want to fuck you first? Luke or me? Tell me. Otherwise, we’re just going to keep doing what we’re doing now…but we’re here to make that slutty little fantasy of yours come true.” 

“I – mmpgh…suh…mmph! –uke…—th!” I tried to form a pathetically audible sentence, but Luke’s tongue was too distracting, alternating from swirls to flicking. Cum. So much cum. I came until my guts felt like they were cramping. My eyes rolled into my skull; every part of my skin that wasn’t being touched or groped by Luke and Lee begged for attention. Lee slid out of my mouth, leaned down, and gently kissed my forehead. “What was that baby girl?” he laughed, patting Luke’s shoulder from across my body, almost like an older brother would to his younger after clearing a level in a video game. “Nice one…how about we switch spots? I’ll take it from there; you just relax,” Lee wrapped my arms around his neck, picking me up princess-style as he instructed Luke to get comfortable. I didn’t need to “guide” my fantasy threesome – Lee was running the show. And if this night was a film, and Lee was the director, he was nailing the job. 

“Poor Luke’s been working non-stop making you cum; I think he deserves some attention, doesn’t he,” Lee said to a still-flushed Luke, his lower face glistening with my cum. “I’m just here to have fun, as long as she’s happy…,” Luke’s voice was getting progressively softer. I laid on my belly, resting my chin against his thigh, his shaft twitching against my cheek. 

I smiled, propping myself up on my elbows, before taking him in my mouth. The softest moan escaped his lips, his eyes glazing over as he delicately pushed a few stray hairs away from my face. It was such a surreal moment, our trio’s dynamic; even though the night was about my fantasy, I also wanted to give Luke a perfect threesome, and let Lee be the conductor, making sure we followed script. Luke’s cock left a sweet trail on my tongue as I tasted him from top to bottom, his moans encouraging me. “You look so pretty sucking my cock,” he said. Despite having messed up hair and cheeks covered in spit and precum streaks, I felt “so pretty.”

“Someone’s having a good time…” Lee’s voice breathed in my ear, his sculpted chest grazing against my back. “Do you want to stop here? Or should we keep going?” Lee asked, noting that I’d already cum, and it was my first threesome. “Did you forget the part where I get fucked by both guys…? “ I countered, not ready for it to end.

That’s all Lee needed to hear. You asked for it, babygirl,” Lee said before pushing his cock firmly into my pussy. Every time he got an inch in, my body would twitch, on the verge of cumming. Lee wasn’t even three inches in before I couldn’t control myself. “Mmm...I’m c-cumming… an…ahhhhhhh!” Lee kept sliding inside me, my cum doubling as lube. Luke’s face lit up, this time grabbing me by my neck to kiss me. “Let’s see how many times we can make her cum,” Luke said, his tone now matching Lee’s. Just as my orgasm wrapped, I could feel myself pull his cock deeper inside, ready to cum again each time he slammed into me. Lee and Luke took turns switching positions, checking in between orgasms. I didn’t know where my body ended and theirs began, I didn’t know how many times I had cum. They used me in every position possible: pressed against my belly, thrown onto my back, straddling one while the other stood on the mattress, and my knees pinned down against the bed while both took turns behind me. 

It had been hours. I was exhausted but electric. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. A girl with breast-length marine blue hair gazed back as two hands manipulated her body, both men trying to find new ways to hear her moan. This was the perfect josei manga scene.

Lee and Luke leaned back on the bed, side by side, Lee’s arm resting across Luke’s shoulders, as they watched me try and fit them both inside my mouth. My jaw ached. My pussy was sore, and even lying down hurt. My thighs were covered in handprints. My breasts were pink from being used as balancing tools for their acrobatics. I was nearing my physical limit. “I’m going to cum…get on your back,” Lee ordered, pushing me down as they straddled me. And before I could fully appreciate the scene, I felt splashes of cum drench my chest. Both men looked down at me. As their cum dripped on the sheets, they lay down on each sides of me, Luke pulling my head onto his chest while Lee balanced himself on one elbow. 

“Are you still going to be reading the manga after tonight?” Lee teased. “Wait, I never even got to see her stash! Where is it?” Luke whispered to me, that golden retriever energy fully back. “Stop teasing meeeee,” I whined, rolling over to bury my face into the pillows while they laughed, leaning down to kiss my cheeks.

A few months later:

LEE: “Are you reading any new manga?”

ME: “Shut uppppp, a girl can dream, can’t she?”

LEE:” lolollol”

LUKE: “You still haven’t sent me the links to the webtoon!”

LEE: “Yeah send it over, we need more reference material for the next scene”

ME: “You’re both the worst….sending it now”

Photo by Eric Torres