How to have (pain-free) anal sex for the first time

Spoiler alert: sometimes we associate anal sex with pain because we’ve attempted to try it without adequate lubrication or preparation. But it should not be painful! And with the right amount of generous lube and practice, it can feel so good for all involved. Like anything worth doing well, you want to approach this with knowledge, patience, and, above all, consent. 

Whether you're here out of curiosity, a sense of adventure, or simply because you’ve run out of positions in the *standard* repertoire, you’re in the right place. This guide to anal is sure to inspire.

Let’s start with an excerpt from a sexy story in which a man details his first time having anal with his partner.

As I push the head of my cock close to her pussy lips, she reaches to grab my shaft with her hand and places it against her tighter hole.

I look at her, she smiles at me and nods. “Slowly,” she whispers.

She uses her hand to find the best position, and starts to instruct me: “Push a little.”

Maybe because I’m tired, maybe because of the mix of emotions at the moment, but I lose my erection a bit. As she feels my hardness going away, she asks, “Hey, what’s going on? Did you change your mind?”

“No, of course not. Just…just give me a minute…”

As I’m getting rock hard again, I start to push the tip of my head through her tightest entrance. I can feel the resistance of her and I almost give up again—“I’m afraid to hurt you,” I say.

“No, just go ahead,” she replies.

I push once, twice, three times, then it happens.

I’m in.

Past the first muscle ring, it seems I’m in a new world.

Read the whole story here: Deep Bliss.

Here are some tips by the AURORE community for for first timers:

“Bottoming is the best thing I’ve done to make me a better top.”
There’s nothing like a little role reversal to give you an entirely new perspective. By learning how to receive, you’ll gain empathy for your partner’s experience—and probably pick up a few pro moves along the way.

“The prostate is like a clit!”
If you’re someone with a prostate, congratulations—you’ve got your own G-Spot, which when stimulated right, can deliver a whole new kind of pleasure, so don’t shy away from exploring it.

“Talk about it. Take it slow. Flip the script.”
(Anal) Sex is all about communication and trust. Discuss boundaries, check in regularly, and don’t hesitate to switch up roles. A little role-flipping can make things fun, surprising, and eye-opening for both partners.

“Lube, lube, lube. Then more lube just in case.”
If you think you've used enough lube, add more. The golden rule of anal sex is that there’s no such thing as too much lube. The anus does not have natural lubricant like the vagina does so lube is often what makes anal sex more comfortable.

“Patience: Rarely is the body as open to receive as the mind is. Create craving before entry.”
Tease, play, and build up anticipation. When you’re both genuinely craving it, it’ll be worth the wait.

“Oddly satisfying 😎”
Need we say more?

“Start slow and small and with toys.”
Given how tight the anal muscles can be, if it is your first time trying anal sex, you want to start slow to avoid pain and injuries. Begin with smaller toys to warm up, and let your body adjust. 

“Be relaxed. Be incredibly turned on. Be with someone on the smaller side or start with toys.” 
If this is your first time trying anal sex, it is natural to be nervous. But to have a good experience, it is important to be relaxed, and incredibly turned on. Consider starting with smaller toys or a partner with a more petite package—your comfort comes first.

“Use toys yourself and get used to the feeling before having someone do anything to your bum.”
Solo play is the perfect way to learn what feels good before inviting someone else into the action. Experiment with toys and sensations to understand what your body likes best—it’s your playground, after all. Solo play can also be a great way to mentally prepare yourself.

Whether you’re curious about Anal, solo pleasure, BDSM or exhibitionism, reading real erotica is an amazing intro to getting freaky and kinky. AURORE publishes stories about your best encounters to inspire and educate others. We believe everyone deserves great sex and are on a mission to spread the word. Access 200 real sex stories when you become a member.