Confession I

We’re Friends.

Drew’s just a friend. His partner introduced him to our friend group, then ditched us all for a different friend group. We talk about everything. He knows I was having wild sex with my last boyfriend and how much I loved it. I know he’s not having sex and how unhappy he is about it. I know he’s into some kink, and I want to know more. He knows I’m a little freaky. I know he wants to know more. 

The thing with Drew is that he’s depressed. And I believe I could cure him by taking his cock deep into the back of my throat. Lick around his shaft while slowly pumping him in and out of my mouth, holding him with both my hands, with hungry care in my eyes. I’d moan encouragingly as he got closer, letting him know my mouth is a safe space for him to let loose. I know his self esteem has been plummeting, and swallowing his cum would make him feel so special. I’d make him taste himself in my mouth afterwards.

Drew is a nihilist. He believes we’re all doomed, and he has enough levity to laugh about it. I know I could calm his morbid anxiety by sinking slowly onto his lap, his cock pushing into my slick cunt, to both of our deep relief. I’d let him squeeze my ass hard for stress relief, beg him to pull my cheeks apart because it feels so good and dirty to be stretched by him. Hell, I’d let Drew fuck my ass hard for stress relief. He could tie me up and use me however he wants, for all I care. I know he would love to watch his cum drip out of me afterwards, even though we’re just friends.

Drew doesn’t want to leave his house or do anything. He cares little about work, hobbies or interests. I know he’s dying to see my nipple piercings, though. I think about flashing him, but what I really want is for him to slowly strip me down and massage my breasts with his large hands. Show me his approval by playing with my piercings, twisting them to see how much pain I can take. Pull my sweet nipples into his mouth and bite me while I run my hands over the bulge in his pants. As his friend, I know exactly what he needs. I know he wants my fingers wrapped around his cock while his tongue assaults my mouth. I could ride him till he loves his fucking life again.

I confess a lot of my sins to Drew. He knows my shadows and vice versa. He knows I want to play with control, and I think we both know sex with each other would be wild and intense, dark and delicious. We’re friends, so we don’t talk about that - about how badly I wish he would shove me up against a wall and get down on his knees to lick my clit, my sweet soft labia, while pushing by a finger or two into me. I don’t tell him I would pull my lips apart for him so he could lick me as deep as can be, then grab his head gently by his hair to pull him harder into me. He doesn’t tell me how often he thinks of me when he gets off in the shower. Sometimes the tension is so thick, we have to look away so we don’t end up clawing at each other’s clothes to get naked and free as fast as possible.

I can’t even get Drew to go to lunch with me because he’s too stuck in his own head about what it might mean. Realist me really just wants to have lunch and catch up with my friend. In my fantasies though? Drew picks me up for a date and we don’t even make it to food. In the car, I ask him to choke and bite me a little while we make out. I suck his giant cock as he drives us to a forest, or some wilderness by water. I brace myself against the large trunk of an old tree with my arched back to him and he pulls my ass toward him, kicking my legs apart so he can see and feel my dripping pussy. He runs his hard dick back and forth against my clit and through the wet folds of my cunt before he starts fucking me slow and hard. Nobody needs to know, because we’re just friends, so he claps his hand over my open mouth to stifle my moans of ecstasy and quietly growls his darkest desires into my ear. He winds his hand around to my front to play with my clit until I squirt all over the base of this tree in the wilderness, I myself a wild animal falling apart in his hands. I trust Drew the most out of all the men I know, so of course I’d let him cum in me then.

Maybe one day I’ll tell him these things. But for now, I’m not the kind of woman who thinks about fucking her friend’s boyfriend. Of course not. We’re just friends.

Photo: Catholic Guilt by Skye Tan and Randolph Tan captured for Design Scene